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I'm a Licensed Psychotherapist, Entrepreneur, and Writer. I write about mental health, social issues, entrepreneurship, writing, and personal finance.
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Every day started at 5 am…with piping hot coffee (how else am I gonna get my ass outta bed that early?)…while sitting in my favorite spot- the cushy recliner perfectly positioned in front of the bedroom windows that open up to the sunrise…pouring all my random thoughts into my journal.
At 7 am, I’d get the kids up, pack everyone’s lunch for the day…and freeze my ass off at the bus stop because I was too lazy to trade my bath robe for my winter coat.
Mondays and Fridays were “walk the dog” days…Tuesday was my circuit training class that I secretly hated but forced myself to go to because it helped me build strength, or whatever…and Wednesday was my “eff exercise” day.
Every minute the girls were at school, I was working…either by seeing counseling clients at my office or working from home in my online business…writing content…doing Money Therapy with clients…or recording podcast interviews.
As soon as the girls got home from school, family time began…and my “second job” of cooking dinner, helping with homework, yelling at the girls to get in the shower…cleaning up dinner…catching up with my husband about his day…please, for the love of God just get in the damn shower girls!…
…it was all so predictable and consistent.
Stay at home orders…school closings…and switching all my clients to telehealth set fire to my routine.
At first, I clung to my routine with a tight grip…afraid that if I let it go, I’d never get anything done and I’d turn into a hot mess without a plan.
I was completely resistant to releasing control over my time and totally opposed to doing things different…scared that if I shifted gears even for one day…I’d never get back on track.
Well, my routine died a slow, painful death. I watched it wither and melt away like the Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz.
Now, I roll outta bed at 7 am…or 8 am…oh, what the hell. I get outta bed whenever I wake up.
I still have coffee first thing. Truck loads now, instead of just one cup.
Sometimes I journal…sometimes I immediately open email (never, ever a good idea)…and sometimes I sit in my comfy chair and pet my cat, Ashes…for an hour.
The girls are home everyday so there’s no lunches to pack and I don’t have to parade through the house making trumpet sounds and hollering at them to get up and get dressed in the morning.
We’ve got nowhere to be…so everything has slowed down…and while I’m still working…it certainly isn’t for 7-9 hours a day like it was before.
Sometimes I walk the dog for hours…sometimes I lay on the sofa and stuff my face with double stuffed Oreos and Doritos…and I love having a convenient excuse for not forcing myself to go to that damn circuit training class.
Sometimes I wake up on a Saturday before dawn…sit in the dimly lit living room…and write content…
…and sometimes I scramble to squeeze in replying to emails as I’m helping my kids with school assignments…and frantically whipping together peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for my kids before logging on for back to back online therapy sessions.
I used to think that without my routine, I’d go crazy…that it’s what kept me on track…productive…and grounded.
I used to get all grouchy and pouty faced if my routine got disrupted…
…smoke would spew out my ears if I had to miss my circuit training class to stay home with a sick kid (yep, even though I HATED that class!)…
…and I’d flip my shit if I didn’t have the full 4 hours on Tuesdays to write content…in complete silence…by myself, at home…with afternoon coffee to keep my creative energy hot.
…I actually feel happier. More free. More peaceful and calm.
I wasn’t expecting that surprise twist.
I’d envisioned my entire household crashing down in flames if I wasn’t holding it all together with my down-to-the-minute routine.
But that hasn’t happened. In fact, my whole family is happier without the routine.
We eat when we’re hungry instead of eating when the clock says it’s time. (And if I didn’t have to ration milk, I’d be dunkin’ and munchin’ on Oreos all freakin’ day.)
We play outside when it’s nice and read books or watch movies when it’s not.
We wake up when we’ve had enough sleep instead of when the alarm goes off…
…and we go to bed when we’re tired instead of when we think we should.
We exercise when our bodies tell us it’s time to get moving, but it’s now in the form of random dance move competitions (I may or may not have taught my daughters how to twerk) instead of going to the gym.
And we’re filling up our time with activities that bring simple joys…like watching the chickens peck around the farm…
…laying in the hammock listening to birds…
…and playing 18 hour long Monopoly marathons.
I’ve learned to let go of how I thought things should be…to adapt and adjust to the way things are…
…to allow a new normal to form…
…and the way we’re living now without a routine is better than I ever imagined it could be.
I’m still getting things done…just in slower, more gentle…and quite frankly, more authentic ways…
…and the disruption in my old routine has made me rethink the way I was living my life…
…and how I want to live it moving forward.
The pandemic that blew through my routine may have very well blown through your financial life…
…creating dramatic shifts in your income…savings…investments…emergency fund…and spending habits.
And you might be clinging to your old financial life like I cling to my husband any time I see a snake in the yard (I’m seriously terrified of snakes!)…
…or the way I was clinging to my routine…too scared to consider any other way of being.
You might feel like your whole world will come crashing down if your financial picture changes…
…and you’ll be a hot mess without a pot to piss in.
But if you allow your financial life to look different now…and release your grip and your fear…you might find that this is an opportunity to re-examine how you were living your financial life…
…and begin to question if that’s the way you want to keep living it.
You just might feel happier and more free now that you’re not shopping all the time…or casually spending money on everything you desire…
…or you might feel more peaceful and calm making less money but being home with your family and providing in a different way than before.
You might discover you can live on far less…and don’t need more money or possessions to make you happy.
You might feel more gratitude for the money you have…or more motivated to take better care of your money moving forward.
Let yourself establish a new normal…a new, better financial life.
This might be an unexpected, surprising twist that results in a financial life that’s better than you ever imagined it could be.
Money love & hugs ($O$O$O)
Nicole
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Music:
I’m totally crushing on this moody tune- Black Sea by Natasha Blume
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8DFh-JmiS0
Books:
I’m slowly devouring Vasitha’s Yoga by Swami Venkatesananda.
It’s a meaty 725 page spiritual guide that is completely changing me and the way I view life. It’s the single most transformational book I’ve ever read. If you’re ready to free yourself from emotional pain and suffering, this is the cure.
Podcasts:
I’ve been a fan of the Online Marketing Made Easy Podcast with Amy Porterfield for years and have been hardcore crushing on her recent episodes.
Art/Business Badasses:
My dear friend, Shelley Cohen, just unveiled her new print collection, Surrendered Blooms. Not only are her photos beautiful, but so is she. She’s incredibly talented and an amazing human being. Check out her shop here: https://shelleyelizabethdesigns.com/shop/
I'm a Licensed Psychotherapist, Entrepreneur, and Author. I write about mental health, social issues, entrepreneurship, writing, and personal finance. I'm also the host of the Dread Talks podcast and author of Money Therapy: How to start a love affair with money and transform your life.