Get a reading on your relationship with money.
Like TedTalks but about controversial, uncomfortable, or taboo topics we avoid.
I'm a Licensed Psychotherapist, Entrepreneur, and Writer. I write about mental health, social issues, entrepreneurship, writing, and personal finance.
Press play and I’ll read this juicy article to you!
The young warrior took three deep breaths, slowly approached fear and asked, “May I have permission to battle with you?” Fear replied, “Thank you for showing such great respect by asking permission.”
Then she asked, “How can I defeat you?”
Fear said, “You should know what my weapons are. I talk fast… get in your face… and that unnerves you. Once I’ve made you lose your cool, you’ll do whatever I say. If you don’t do what I tell you, I have no power. You can listen to me… respect me… even feel convinced by what I say. But if you don’t do what I tell you, you’ll defeat me.”
And that’s just what the young warrior did.
Fear is intimidating, unnerving, and scary and often keeps us stuck. It’s the voice inside your head that says, “don’t do that!… it’s not safe!… that’s too risky!… the sky is falling!”
I bet you can think of a million things to be afraid of. Spiders. Snakes (my ultimate bad dream). Heights. Death.
And… your finances.
Financial fear has its own special bag of weapons and they’re used to make you feel overwhelmed, confused, and anxious about all things MONEY.
Financial fear gets in your face and says, “You suck at math. You’ve never been good with money, so you better not try to manage your finances on your own. It will be a disaster! You better play it safe and turn over the decision-making to someone else who knows more than you.”
If you do what fear tells you, you’ll give up your financial power and you’ll never have the confidence to make your own decisions.
Financial fear will say, “Yikes! All this debt is scary! There’s too much of it! You’ll never pay it off. Don’t even try… there’s no point. Just stuff all those bills in the back of the desk drawer so we don’t have to think about it.”
If you do what fear tells you, you’ll avoid your finances and your money problems will grow bigger and more out of control.
You might be dreaming and planning to scale your business to six-figures and fear will say, “Stop right there – what if you fail? What if you put in all this time and effort and you don’t reach your financial goals? That would be horrible! Your business isn’t so bad. Just keep it the way it is so we can feel safe.”
Damn you financial fear!
Listening to financial fear ALL DAY LONG makes you feel like you’re running around in circles and might make you want to pull your hair out… give up… hide under the covers… avoid your finances… drink heavily.
Where’s the Tylenol?
Financial fear deserves your respect (even if you want to punch it in the face). In a weird, f-ed up way, fear is trying to protect you from harm. The problem is that financial fear thinks EVERYTHING will harm you!
The next time financial fear speaks up and says, “Oh no! Don’t spend money on that thing you really, really want! You might not get a return on investment! You might need that money later! You can’t afford that – you don’t make enough money! Let’s panic!”, calmly approach fear and ask, “Can we talk about this for a minute?”
Then gently say to fear, “Thank you for trying to protect me from financial disaster, but I’ve got this. I’ve worked hard for this money and it’s meant to be enjoyed. You’re welcome to come along for the ride, but I’m going to be making the financial decisions around here.”
If you’re able to do this, financial fear will take its place in the background and feelings of confidence, empowerment, joy, and financial success will be front and center.
Know someone who’s struggling with fear (financial or otherwise)? Be a friend and share this with them. Let them know they’re not alone and they don’t have to battle fear everyday. They can defeat fear without a fight.
I'm a Licensed Psychotherapist, Entrepreneur, and Author. I write about mental health, social issues, entrepreneurship, writing, and personal finance. I'm also the host of the Dread Talks podcast and author of Money Therapy: How to start a love affair with money and transform your life.