My bestie is a nurse… and she works her ass off.

I don’t know how that girl does it… being on-call… working double shifts… going in on holidays and weekends…

…all while raising two girls and taking care of her man.

She’s a real-life hero – all nurses are in my book!

But because she has such a demanding, high-stress job, she often comes to me to vent…

…or get help managing her anxiety… or talk through her worries to figure out if she’s being irrational.

I could talk about mental and emotional health… coping mechanisms… and creating healthier lifestyle habits all day long.

Oh wait …I do! As a licensed psychotherapist, that’s my jam.

And when people come to see me feeling stressed out… burnt out… and completely overwhelmed by life…

…the topic of self care always comes up.

As my bestie and I sipped chocolate martinis (our drink of choice for stress-related girl talk), she literally started crying into her glass as she unloaded about how miserable her job was making her.

My first thought was that she should just quit… find a job that’s more fun and relaxing…

…but I know that despite the demands and dealing with life and death everyday, she loves nursing.

So… I brought up self care.

Her response?

“Girl, I’m just not that into bubble baths and chocolate cake.”

What?

Two thoughts –

#1 – Um, I would literally die without chocolate cake…what planet are you from??

#2 – There is so much more to self care than froofy indulgences and guilty pleasures.

Our convo turned into a deep dive on what “self care” really is…

…and to me… self care is one of the most unbeautiful, messy (yet necessary) gifts we give ourselves.

Scheduling weekly money dates in my heart-filled, stickered-up planner is a form of self care…

…and my money dates aren’t always the hot, “make out sesh with my money” variety.

Sometimes it’s an hour of reviewing my investments and deciding how to reallocate funds…

…or digging through receipts so I can return that faux fur shrug that I bought on impulse and actually HATE…

…or rearranging my spending plan to come up with money to buy a new laptop since mine crashed.

I pointed all this out to my bestie to support my claim that self care is really about regularly tending to your well-being in all areas of life.

Maybe it’s with exercise… or a facial… or a cinnamon dolce latte.

And maybe it’s with budgeting…  and going to the dentist… and deep cleaning your closet so you don’t feel like throwing up every time you walk into that mess.

Those acts of self care aren’t sexy…

…and caring for your financial health isn’t always going to be filled with passion and romance…

…just like date nights with your partner might be Chinese takeout and binging on Harry Potter movies instead of dinner, dancing and hot sex.

But the whole point of self care – whether it be for your emotional, physical or financial well-being – is to set aside time to care for yourself and your life.

If bubble baths and chocolate cake make you feel relaxed and recharged- great!

If getting that annual mammogram out of the way puts you at ease- fantastic!

If getting on the wait list for my new Money Therapy online program feels like a guilty pleasure for you + your money – sign up here.

Just make sure you set time aside for messy, unbeautiful self care this week.

Your money… mind… body and soul will thank you for it.